Sex Hang Ups, Habits and Addictions
This is totally a difficult, squirrelly subject to touch on. It for sure gets us uncomfortable in our seats.
A side note, truly, all I have to share is my experience, strength and hope.
For those of us in Recovery it is part of our healing journey to deal with our sex relations and dysfunction junction in this area.
I know that sometimes,
Sex hang ups, toxic habits and addictions can be underneath our other addictions.
Food, Gambling, Alcohol, Drugs, etc.
But not always. Sometimes it can be the main event..
For me it is underneath layers of Addictions and lots of pain.
The thing is once we got into Recovery, we all learned hey I get my feelings back,! But.....
That means all feelings.
Yes. the Sex ones.
And those feelings/thoughts can dog us. We can be attacked by these feelings/thoughts in the most weirdest and totally not appropriate times.
These feelings/thoughts can be relentless. Over powering. Overwhelming. Like any Addiction. Unmanageable.
And yah, it happens to women too. I mean seriously, it can be rough for women to discuss or even admit. And as for Catholics even harder.
Why is it happening?
As Catholics in the faith,
we know that there's a devil, Fact 💯.
He and his minions never ever go on vacation, like ever. Always lying in wait.
As most of us know, the devil can't make us sin, but he sure can entice us and continue to entice us non stop til we fall. His end game of course.
What's the Connection?
The fact is many of us in recovery were sexually abused and or molested as kids. Not all of us, but many. Many have shame and or denial about it. I know I owned that behavior before Recovery.
Is there a correlation between sex/porn addiction and being sexually abused as a kid?
I personally think so.
I was molested at 4 years old and it went on for awhile. And I was groomed as a teen as well as raped as a young women (twice). Not counting the times I was beaten and abused because of sex.
And I've had sexual disfunction ever since. Duh, right???
Being in recovery and a Catholic who recently (just over a year and a half ago) returned to the generational faith of my family (Cradle Catholic) I can tell you the devil has been relentless in this area of my recovery. Relentless.
This isn't easy to share. But after prayer and reflection I know I must.
It's super embarrassing
The Thoughts/Feelings that I get that come out of nowhere. I mean absolutely nowhere. Seriously.
That's why as a Catholic my Faith tells me this. That I know for certainty that It's absolutely the devil and his minions taunting me. Because at the time I get these thoughts/feelings I'm seriously not doing anything related to well to put it bluntly, Sex.
How do I fight back? And how do I do it with Catholic Recovery Ministries ???
Through the 12 Steps of CRM
Step one. I'm powerless with these thoughts/feelings and through Jesus I admit that my life is very unmanageable.
Step 2. I know who can give me Sanity and Peace. Jesus can.
Step 3. I turn this over to God Almighty and The Holy Spirit and Jesus.
By doing the Third Step Prayer of AA daily in the Morning. And saying Relieve me of the bondage of my thoughts. Instead of Self.
Step 4. Pen to paper I make a list of Examination of Conscious with the help of the Sacred Trinity. Example can be: My acting on these thoughts/feelings that have burdened me. By allowing these negativity sinful thoughts/feelings to take hold of me, Living in Shame, hurting others through acting on these thoughts, unforgiveness towards myself for having the thoughts/feelings etc.
Step 5. A Fully honest and humble Confession with the Help of Jesus. Not leaving out anything due to shame, humility or embarrassment.
Step 6. Ready to have God remove these sins and admit to it in Confession with humility and honesty as well as a repentant heart.
Step 7. Prayed the Act of Contrition with all my heart in a state of humility.
Step 8. Pray for anyone I hurt with my actions from these thoughts/feelings. Doing Rosaries, Novenas, Special Prayers for them.
Step 9. Make direct amends and being honest unless it would hurt others. If it isn't possible, Change in my reaction to these thoughts/feelings. By being and staying in awareness and positive action.
As well as penance of praying daily the Freedom From Addiction Prayer.
For 30 days twice a day.
Step 10. Doing my daily Examen Inventory and seeing where I stopped doing God's will. Aka Acting out badly (to myself & or others) on these Thoughts/feelings
That creates negative attitudes, and behavior.
Step 11. Spending time in Adoration, Doing Blessed Mary the Undoer of Knots Rosary, Reading the Bible, Reading about the life of the Saints who were plagued with sinful thoughts/feelings of sex.
Step 12. Help those who are suffering. No matter what type of suffering. Be honest with others (when it's appropriate) to share our struggles in the Sex area. To pray, do Novenas , Rosaries for those suffering with the sex area of their recovery.
Then we are on our way toward healing ourselves and being of use to others.
The big book states most of us have sex issues, they knew in the late 30's.
And in the end......
We fall but we continue to pick up our cross. One moment at a time. And that will never stop.
I kinda Want to end with a prayer.
May God Almighty Bless us and our journey in everlasting recovery as we grow together in our Catholic Faith and Unity.